Description
Adoption File #HW-004 · As-Is Wing
Origin: Under a dorm room mini-fridge, circa 2009 · Status: Crew, solo, structurally opinionated · Laundry history: classified
Carl is not dirty. Carl is seasoned. He has been places. He has seen things. He has been used for purposes socks are not supposed to admit in polite company — and he refuses to apologize for any of it.
Sold exactly as found. We will not wash him. We will not judge him. We will not take him back once you realize what you have agreed to adopt.
His crust is not a flaw. It is a résumé.
Not recommended for: first-time adopters, houseguests, anyone who still believes socks exist solely for feet, or people who own white rugs.
Adoption note: PG-13 energy in a PG package. Handle with gloves if your therapist suggests it. No refunds. Carl has boundaries now.
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